By Brett Cloyd, March 2023
My son recently turned 18, and this milestone gives me space to think about my work as a librarian and a dad. First, I wanted to share some of the important supports that helped me get to this point. My wife holds a full-time position as a professional communications specialist and is a dedicated parent and partner. When our son was born we were able to use leave available to us via the Family and Medical Leave Act. Since we both worked at the same institution, we were required to split the 12-weeks allocated for this purpose.
This gave us a gap of time before our son could enroll in a childcare setting, so we relied on friends we paid to take care of our son. My wife also temporarily reduced her work hours. At the time, my employer offered a generous contribution to our dependent care accounts that was very important to us during the early days of our career. A few years later we adopted our daughter. By the time she entered daycare, the employer contribution had been discontinued. I know that the cost of childcare has continued to be out of reach for many families and my family benefited from some privileges that no longer exist. Providing childcare support for working families is important to ensure retention of talented library workers and breathing room to enjoy parenting and a career.
During the first few years of parenting, I know I was often tired and less engaged in my work than I hoped – sleep was at a premium. During snow days or sick days, my wife and I would take turns staying home with the children. This was before Zoom and remote work options, which likely present different challenges. My plans for moving my career forward were delayed. I attended fewer conferences, joined fewer committees, and dug into my position commitments to put my best foot forward. My library has a system of career promotion, and I have reached the top level after 20 years at my organization. I probably would have advanced sooner had I prioritized work more, but it was also important to me to see my kids’ soccer practices and games, attend my daughter’s dance competitions, find time to stay connected to my wife, and be a part of my community. Parenting has helped me create space where I can appreciate personal and professional success in different domains (even when exhausted).
Being a dad has also given me a supportive perspective of my colleagues who have children. When my male and female colleagues need to call out due to a child’s illness or look tired after a late night with a fussy sleeper, I get it, and I can help out by taking their reference shift or classes and offer words of support, “Hey, I’ve been there, I get it, no worries.”
I sometimes hear “parenting is a choice,” and I say “Yes, it’s been a very important one.”
working. 
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